Black to Grey to White

I'm Emily's daddy. From the first day Emily can speak, she has called me daddy. In fact, that was the first word she said. Da Da. Normally, baby will call their mummy first - ma ma, but I was the one she called first. I was really happy that I was there to see her speak the 1st word - Dada.

I'm 35 this year and Emily is 8 - born in the year of dragon. People always say that children born in the year of dragon is special. At first I did not believe this but seeing Emily now, I believe it. She is very smart and observant. And she is very obedient. Much more mature than a 8 year old. Everytime I think of Emily, a whole range of emotion swept over me. No child deserve to go through what she has gone through. But I don't know how she is feeling. On the outside, she looks like she is coping ok, but looking deep into her eyes, I can sense sadness.

As I am writing this, tears starts welling on my eye. I miss you very much Emily.

I once heard this story about how black can becomes white. A thing that is wrong can be turned into something right because there is such a thing called grey. If you allow white to mix with black and you add it slowly, soon it will become grey. And when its grey, one day it will become white.

Just like my situation, what is unfair to me and Emily, bit by bit , the story has changed to such that I'm the monster and Emily has to be taken away from me. Black has become grey and now, it has become white. If I don't tell my side of story and let Emily understand, all will be forgotten. What was once black is permanantly white.